(It being your life)
I hate to disappoint 10 year old me, who thought she was mature for her age, and that she could understand the world. But 20 or 20 something is not the time you get it together. You don’t magically wake up on the day of your 20 something birthday and you have it all figured out. A car, a house and all the things that society considers as getting it together (and let’s be honest, things you too wish you had, but they’re not a priority for now). And of course all the finding yourself stuff, and the experiences you’re gonna mention on your book, that Oprah will talk about in her show. Which will never happen because the Oprah Winfrey Show is over.
“But I’m working hard”. And so are many many other people. All that you do, and work hard for is just a way for you to learn that there’s no recipe, and guaranteed methods for success. Your grades and your education will not be useless, they might help you start having real goals . And ask yourself what you wanna be when you grow up. And my sweet summer child it’s in your 20s that you really start growing up and it’s still exciting. So enjoy every step you take and live!
Before you ask… you stopped receiving Eid ¹ presents way before that age… I KNOW!
By the way this is 24 year old you. I am doing fine, you have short curly hair now. And you still think you’re wise enough, that you started a blog. Anyway enough chit chat we’re boring our readers.
Back to Getting it together…
As I said I don’t think there’s a recipe to getting it together. But there are healthy practices that you need to adopt to get on track and. You probably know, and saw them on million inspirational pictures on instagram but here are my two cent
Love yourself
I know you’re driven by meritocracy and you feel insecure but part of getting it together is being authentic to yourself. And you should be happy about the person you are, improve the things you don’t like, embrace the things you can’t change. Because you’re gonna get to whatever milestones you set for yourself. And you’ll keep on setting new ones. And delaying self love and acceptance will always bring you a sense of dissatisfaction however far you’ve come. You are working, you are trying, you are evolving. Be kind to yourself.
Stop procrastinating
You miss out on several things because you are scared to try them. Because for some reason you thought that you should get it right the first shot. Except that getting it right the first time, was it sports, studies, music or anything else is either beginner’s luck, or a gift. And you might be gifted in some things but you are not in other stuff. You should accept that you’re not special. And it shouldn’t stop you from trying, or make you give up easily, which is very unhealthy for your self esteem. You miss out on several things or the process of doing them, when you actually do them at last minute due to deadlines. Because you are scared to try them. Or because you don’t get immediate results which is natural, we are driven by a reward system. So here’s what you can do: Set a valuable goal for that thing you want to do, then divide the process to getting it done into micro-processes, so achieving micro-processes one by one will be rewarding for you as it is moving you towards your valuable goal. Or you know… just buy yourself snacks or rewatch a guilty pleasure movie or episode whenever you achieve a micro-process… whatever floats your boat.
But whatever you do don’t listen to that voice in your head disguised as a “Eureka” moment. The voice that tells you that you finally had your epiphany, and that you have to do something else instead, and that you would be more productive doing that thing, and gives you a sudden motivation to do something you always wanted to do. Make time to make memes, design T-shirts or learn Elvish, but not as a way to procrastinate.
Don’t be entitled
“It is easy, when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to assume that if you want something badly enough, it is your God-given right to have it.”
Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild
We are used to equations and the mindset that if you play the right cards you’ll get the expected results. If I do a and b then I will definitely get c. But sometimes it doesn’t work that way. Sometimes you don’t know what a and b are, sometimes you think you know them, but you don’t get your c. You can do your research, ask more experienced people, get feedback on Internet (yeah we can do a lot of incredible things on the internet, and you met awesome people thanks to that). But nothing is certain. You might not like your classes at college, you might not get your perfect job at first. It could be frustrating, but you shouldn’t feel despair or unfairness because you deserve those things. The universe is not against you. Dig deeper, try other variables.
And most importantly, remember that there are always silver linings in every hardship you go through. And the one constant silver lining is experience. And you need it! The glass is half full… remember to breathe.
¹: Eid is a muslim religious holiday
Howdy just wanted to give you a brief heads up and let you know a few of the pictures aren’t loading properly. I’m not sure why but I think its a linking issue. I’ve tried it in two different internet browsers and both show the same outcome. Ettie Luther Alica